Ela Mesma Company

Dispora Dance Theatre

This morning got my blood boiling

Happy Sunday to you, and I hope yours is sacred and slow and full of the three R’s (Rest, Relaxation and Retreat)

It is my Moon time and ever-since we interviewed Ruth Lorna King of MoonCave on PowerUp! Podcast (well actually since a full 7 months before that when we first talked moon-cycle), I have been taking the first three days of my period (*whenever possible) to listen to and honour what my body needs and do just that in silence, so this weekend has been pretty chilled.

This morning though, whilst catching up on the world of instagram, I was triggered with a memory, that got my blood boiling…

When I opened instagram, I saw a post by a friend whom I am so proud of because they are training compete in the olympics as a breaker (a breakdancer). Most of you know that I used to be a breaker (which is also how we met).

Whilst proudly looking at their post of them training towards the olympics with a bunch of talented super-humans, I spotted someone in the back of one photo, who had once given me a lift home from an event that he had booked me to perform at. When we got to mine, he had asked if he could come in for a glass of water. All very innocent so it seems, and actually nothing did happen, but there was an incredibly awkward moment when I realised his asking for the water was really a guise to ‘see’ if he could instigate something more between us and then a dance of neither one saying what they wanted proceeded.

I remember bumbling around awkwardly speaking about being in a relationship, about how tired I was, whilst inside feeling angry that I even had to say all this stuff. I was relieved when my housemates came in to be able to use that opportunity to get him to leave. Seeing him there in that photo I was reminded of how many tiny imprints and small t trauma moments we have to deal with when we don’t have the tools to just speak our truths or say NO, and also how much toxic masculinity there was (and still is) on the dance scene (hence the blood boiling!)

This was a huge part of why I stepped on this journey to JOY, why I did so much research into my beliefs and why I developed The Goddxx Path and other trainings.

The Goddxx Path is my 9 month coaching programme to support epic creatives to become the best version of themselves, and on Friday, we completed the two month module, SACRED.

SACRED is the part of the course where we heal & bring back our own pleasure, where we dive deep into releasing the imprints on our pelvic bowl to connect to our pelvic magic, and where we find our boundaries so that we can be empowered by asking for, going for and getting what we want (plus saying NO to what we don’t want).

We had a hilarious time on Friday practicing asking for what we want and laughing at all the ways the human psyche tries to ask without just asking.

When I thought back on this man in my house drinking water but really trying to figure out how to get something very different, and me wanting him to leave but not knowing how to just ask him to go, I thought how our world might be if we were all better at asking for what we want, and really took no for an answer.

So, with these reflections in mind, here are a few podcast episodes that I thought you might enjoy! Just click here if you prefer Spotify or google etc over iTunes.

PowerUp! Episode 34: Coming back HOME to Ourselves: What is Holistic Pelvic Care? And how can it support us to come back home to ourselves? An intimate chat between Ama Rouge and I about how small t and big t traumas make imprints on the pelvic bowl.

PowerUp! Episode 32: We are our own Medicine: We talk to Sacred and Moon Medicine Activist Ruth Lorna King about navigating our periods and how they can be a powerful time in our cycle of receiving and renewal.

PowerUp! Episode 12: Consent is a Privilege: We discuss how intertwined privilege and dominant culture are with choice with international Intimacy Coach, Consent Facilitator and Pleasure Activist Robyn Dalzen.

PowerUp! Episode 5. Creating a Culture of Conversation, Transparency and Healing: We talk about being survivors, about abuse, exploitation and also trauma with Elsie Ayotunde Cullen

These are quite serious topics, but we also had a lot of fun recording these episodes: they contain laughter, asmr and revelation… and maybe even a joke or two 🙂

PPS. Wanna come hang with us Krya Tivity? Come on a REAL RRR Retreat in October in Portugal! Earlybird is on until the 22nd September. Sign up HERE to get all the information and ask us all the questions you need before you sign up! Here is what a retreat day may look like:

Juice & Shots, Sunrise Yoga, Ayurvedic Breakfast, Two hour PathFor JOY workshop (inspired by the chakras and alchemy, teaching you all the tools to create from your Goddxx self and live a life of your highest dreams and creativity), Ayurvedic Lunch, Afternoon Dance with Ofelia Balogun (2 days we will also have Art sessions with Rhian Kempadoo Millar) , One two hour massage during your stay (this is included in the price), Free time to enjoy journalling, enjoying the rooftop pool or surrounding nature, Ayurvedic evening meal (one night we will eat out locally, one around a camp fire)

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